The Final List

You see a messy past.
I see the journey that made you.

You see a shameful turn of events.
I see freedom from someone who didn't truly love you.

You see no set plans for your future and instability.
I see a blank canvas, waiting to be created.

You feel that you have a bad heart that I wouldn't like.
I can feel it beating strong when you embrace me.

You feel you are not enough.
I like you just the way you are.

You hear the overwhelmingly negative talk of those around you.
I hear it too.  And couldn't care less what they say.

You don't think you deserve my love.
I love you.

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Life is a biotch sometimes, isn't it?

When I read my other posts here it kinda makes me sad to see how little progress I am made.  Thank God for grace, for second chances, and for renewed spirits.  Maybe this blog won't be so much about my "weight loss", as just about be.  Who I am. How I am growing. What God is doing in my life.  That seems like a lot less pressure. To just take it day by day.

So.  Today I am thankful. Thankful that despite all the failures I see in myself that God is still using me.  Working as a Nurse Tech right now is something I LOVE.  Everyday I am able to love on children.  It is a pretty thankless job.  I wash them, brush their teeth, change their diapers.  At the end of the day I have stains on my scrubs from formula, pee and poop; my back is aching and I just want a nap.  But I CANNOT wait for the next day to go love on them again.

So. Today I chose to focus on the good.  I chose my attitude.  I choose to live my life positively.


"Delight yourself in the Lord, and He WILL give you the desires of your heart."